الخميس، 14 يوليو 2016

Indian love

Hey Sweet Heart,
I didn’t even remember 2014 starting but ending was good I found you my life, 2015 New Year was also good the first wishes I told you in Indian time and Jeddah time. But this time 2015 was not a good ending and start is also not at all a good one. I think you can analyse how we are in 2014 December and how we are in 2015 December. There might be any reasons to tell me or explain me the situations you face, but analyse yourself.
1 year passed but still the pain u r giving for me is more, this time it’s even more and more. Last time the holidays u r with me most of the time in every moment but this time it missed completely. As usual u has reasons for that and I have nothing to do just to wait to see u. Every time when I plan my career or anything I’m pulled back n thrown into troubles again n again. This time the damage and effect is more.
It’s been more than 1month that we spoke openly about anything or shared something. The distance that came between us is very long and I wish this could be the first and last one and hope you will accept this and be on this. In this period of 1month I planned so much about our careers family etc..,
New year was not a good start for me three things put lot of effect of me.
  1. Immigration Problem n coming back
Even though I know that me taking risk of coming there in such a tough situations still I took a step to reach you, check each and everything twice and even more than it till the last moment and finally failed to reach you. It’s still not a digesting thing for me that I’m a failure in this thing.
Back to job continuing here but still unhappy just continuing here to clear my loans even anyone may talk about me or make jokes on me I’m just concerned about my family(Amma, Dad, u & Nikhil) n making them happy. Most of the family members only criticised me for going and they expressed all when I came back Amma didn’t tell me all but I can understand some.
I didn’t feel good of even going home after coming back from Delhi I was fully depressed and I don’t even understand who to share this seriously I have some friends around me saying don’t worry be cool n all but I’m unable to be so, when mom called me also I said I can’t come home. They came to Hyderabad to see me and said everything will be fine gave all the support. But what I felt is I didn’t keep up there hope what Amma, Dad, Nikhil and u kept on me. May be I must have done something more n think more to get situations right.
Past is gone but at least in the present case need to sort of each and everything and set them right. When I heard that u too said to stop the plans of coming abroad, I felt like why she is saying that if I come there only we can meet and live up our dreams. One minute my heart beat stopped, mind got blank. I’m still in that conflict why you said that this is the thing I need clarification on.
In the period of 1 year you gave a long gap where my eyes are completely waiting to see you and ears are waiting to hear laddu I love u.
Past is past its finished. Don’t create so long gap between us saying reasons for everything.
  1. My friend girlfriend left him after 7 years of their love
One of my childhood friend and my present roommate his love got an end card, sad finishing. He is a cool guy feels if one is gone I can get some other he did that also in his career till now. When his girlfriend’s feel to move on he too moved on with someone or took so easily. He even used to tell me that to be like him or don’t get too involved in anything if you stick it would affect you in some other way etc.., but I never use to listen to him.
But when his girlfriend said her marriage is fixed he said I just loved her because she promised me that she will marry me and will be with me till the end but she didn’t at least she didn’t even expressed in her home about him. He even said I will come n talk in your home about us and make your dad convince for our marriage. Still she fixed on leaving him and that’s it it’s a happy bye bye ending.
The thing made me worried about this is when you said to mama about us she was happy for you and I felt that in her voice, tension was also there but if someone loves beyond the limits then it will be magic. I think she recognised that, but in no time the word spread to Baba and Jojo the reaction was not positive. You got a proposal in Jeddah but it didn’t work or postponed I don’t know, still I’m tensed. In home they will not stop right to make your marriage they will keep on checking in some way about you even though you are very strong on your decision about me or about marriage.
I just decided one thing in the second point if marriage is to be happened it should be with you otherwise no that’s it. I don’t know how seriously I took this decision but I’m standing on it because the impact you made on me is I can’t express in words.  Whatever is next it’s up to u.

  1. My another friend mom’s death
My old roommate and childhood friend, I know their family and the struggle it’s same as our family only. The effect was so severe on me it made me to think what happens if I come across it. I should not think like that but I saw some other friends or their parents dead but this time it really affected me more and made me to take care of my mom and dad more. That’s the main reason I took in charge of some loans of giving them so pressure off will settle Nikhil soon and release Dad’s pressure. Dad was worried about both of our careers so need to settle Nikhil first and set some good Job in Jeddah where I can handle both of our families well.
All these happened in 1st week of Jan 2016 only which affected me a lot. And they created a very big impact on me. Need to react on this and I don’t know how my plan goes but this time I’m not going according to a full length plan it’s my targets by any way I have to reach them.
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….
Love me again………………….

true message from Indian Nobel man

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